Friday, April 27, 2012
Getting Ready
Even though I still have a ridiculous amount of things to catch up on, I wanted to just write and say how excited I am about our upcoming vacation. It has been a really ROUGH month or two for me in a lot of ways and I have never been so in need to leave and get away for a little while. We are now 7 days to our vacation. I've been working to get the house nice and clean (and hope it stays that way for the next week) and amazingly we already have most of our clothes packed. Can't tell that we are excited or anything??? :) The boys can't wait to go! And even though I'm not looking forward to the drive, I am looking forward to some very wonderful family time. My next post could very well come from Disneyland!
Monday, April 2, 2012
How Is It Possible That I Have A 9 Year Old???
On March 25th, Alex turned 9 years old! It truly doesn't seem possible to have a kid this old. It's also pretty amazing how much I have learned in the last 9 years. I love my kiddo so much and can't imagine life without him.
So through all the school issues, we were trying to plan a birthday party. It was not easy. Alex couldn't really decide on a theme this year, so we had to settle for two! We decided on a Nerf/BeyBlade party. Alex invited 8 kids, so there would be a total of 10 (with Darek and him). He invited his best friends from his old school and old neighborhood and it was a "boys only" party. Just so we remember who we invited, here was his list:
Jaxon
Christian
Landon
Michael (only one who couldn't come)
Hayden
Maddox
Colby
Ben S.
We were able to reserve a church building in our old area so the kids didn't have to come too far. We got there early and got it all set up. Once the kids got there, we started with BeyBlade tournaments. These were actually a lot of fun and I think the boys would have been content doing them the whole time. Jaxon ended up winning both BeyBlade tournaments! After that, we went over and had Alex open presents. He got a lot of BeyBlade items and money. Best part was that my mom and sister had hid money in socks and underwear. So they made him not only take the items out, but then search through to find the money (right in the crotch). I think he ended up getting about $50.00 after he opened everything. SPOILED!!! After all presents were open, we had cake and ice cream. By then we were really starting to run low on time. We broke the pinata as quickly as we could. I had set up a Nerf boot camp, but there was no way we'd have time to do that. So we got the boys split up into teams for a Nerf war. They ended up getting two or three rounds in before parents started coming to pick kids up.
It was a great day. We cleaned up and loaded his major haul of presents in the car. I think he absolutely loved his party, but really loved being with all of his old friends. That was most important to him.
My current list of things that stand out about Alex:
Funny
Smart
Tender
A Leader
A bit bossy
Loving
Sweet
Turning into a tween (doing the smart a** comments and being a little dork sometimes) :)
Will still give me hugs and even kisses
Athletic - he still loves soccer and really wants to be fit
Amazing and insightful to talk with
Simply put.... A really good kid
Our camera was not working at the party. My dad was taking some pictures, so I'll have to get those from him at some point. I did get some video, but I'm too lazy to put that on right now. :)
Love you Alex!! Happy Birthday my little man!
So through all the school issues, we were trying to plan a birthday party. It was not easy. Alex couldn't really decide on a theme this year, so we had to settle for two! We decided on a Nerf/BeyBlade party. Alex invited 8 kids, so there would be a total of 10 (with Darek and him). He invited his best friends from his old school and old neighborhood and it was a "boys only" party. Just so we remember who we invited, here was his list:
Jaxon
Christian
Landon
Michael (only one who couldn't come)
Hayden
Maddox
Colby
Ben S.
We were able to reserve a church building in our old area so the kids didn't have to come too far. We got there early and got it all set up. Once the kids got there, we started with BeyBlade tournaments. These were actually a lot of fun and I think the boys would have been content doing them the whole time. Jaxon ended up winning both BeyBlade tournaments! After that, we went over and had Alex open presents. He got a lot of BeyBlade items and money. Best part was that my mom and sister had hid money in socks and underwear. So they made him not only take the items out, but then search through to find the money (right in the crotch). I think he ended up getting about $50.00 after he opened everything. SPOILED!!! After all presents were open, we had cake and ice cream. By then we were really starting to run low on time. We broke the pinata as quickly as we could. I had set up a Nerf boot camp, but there was no way we'd have time to do that. So we got the boys split up into teams for a Nerf war. They ended up getting two or three rounds in before parents started coming to pick kids up.
It was a great day. We cleaned up and loaded his major haul of presents in the car. I think he absolutely loved his party, but really loved being with all of his old friends. That was most important to him.
My current list of things that stand out about Alex:
Funny
Smart
Tender
A Leader
A bit bossy
Loving
Sweet
Turning into a tween (doing the smart a** comments and being a little dork sometimes) :)
Will still give me hugs and even kisses
Athletic - he still loves soccer and really wants to be fit
Amazing and insightful to talk with
Simply put.... A really good kid
Our camera was not working at the party. My dad was taking some pictures, so I'll have to get those from him at some point. I did get some video, but I'm too lazy to put that on right now. :)
Love you Alex!! Happy Birthday my little man!
School, Schmool
That is a terrible title, but it kind of fits right now. So I last posted about troubles we were having in Alex's school. Well they actually got a bit worse after that and we had some pretty big decisions to make.
It was really hard watching Alex go from loving school and loving seeing his friends every day to a kid that despised going, didn't have any good friends and wasn't learning anything. And I almost hated asking him on the way home how school was, because he'd tell me a story about a kid that did a terrible thing to him or something he saw kids doing to other kids. It just broke my heart. But one day home I asked him how school was and he turned to me and said, "Mom, something really bad happened at school today." Not knowing what to expect he continued, "The boys were all playing rough at recess. We were just taking each other down to the ground. So I'd take a kid down then I would let another boy come up and take me down. Well, I took this kid down and he just kinda laid there. I was worried that I hurt him, so I asked him if he was okay. He didn't say anything, just stared up at me. Then he got this look on his face, jumped up and started chasing me. I ran as fast as I could and got away from him. I didn't think it was a big deal. But then a girl from my class came up to me and asked me if I knew that the kid was chasing me with a knife." He stopped his story there which left me with about a million questions. Did his teacher know? Did the kid get in trouble? Why wasn't I notified? He said the teacher did know and he thought the kid was in trouble because he went home early. But he didn't know why no one told me. Probably because he didn't get hurt was what he was thinking. People who know my personality know how conflicted I was at that point. I don't like confrontation and always worry about what other people are thinking of me. I had already sent an email to the school about another situation that had occurred. I was worried about becoming "that mom" if I drove back right then not knowing if the situation had already been taken care of. Of course looking back now, I would have done just that. So we went home and I took a good couple hours writing an email to the principal and his teacher. (Worded perfectly so I didn't come off too harsh. I really get annoyed with myself sometimes looking back on these types of situations. Annoyed that I don't feel comfortable getting in peoples faces sometimes, especially when it's totally warranted.) I sent the email and waited for a reply. The next day I got a call from Alex's teacher kind of explaining the situation. She said that there were a couple of witnesses on the playground. And each of the stories were a little different, so they didn't really know what to believe. And because Alex was running away, he didn't really see anything. They did know positively that the kid did have a pocket knife and it was at very least in his pocket. The conflict in stories was whether he actually had the knife out of his pocket and if the blade was out. The teacher would not tell me what the punishment was for this child. She asked me if I felt comfortable with everything. I told her I wasn't okay with what happened and since I didn't know what the punishment was, I couldn't really say. She also confirmed that this was a semi-common occurrence for kids to bring toy or real weapons to school. So I was not feeling comfortable and okay, especially not knowing what happened with the kid. I picked Alex up from school that day and asked him if the boy was back at school (fully expecting that he wouldn't be back yet) and Alex said that he had been there that whole day. That's the point where I started fuming! So at very LEAST, this kid came to school with a weapon. Let's say that's all that happened. Even having a weapon in his possession to me warrants a couple days suspension. But let's say more did happen... Really? The kid goes home an hour early and that takes care of it??? I was shocked and furious!
Ryan and I had several long conversations after that happened about what we should do. Listed out pros and cons. Alex was doing work that was so much lower than what he had been doing at Adelaide, didn't like his teacher and was in a potentially dangerous environment in a school that didn't give severe enough punishment for kids to understand the severity of what they did. Why were we sending him to this school? I started calling around to schools around the area, explaining what had happened and asking if they would accept a variance in the middle of the school year. I called 6 schools, all of which said they were at full capacity and couldn't do anything until the beginning of the next school year. So that was not an option. We started discussing homeschooling. This is something I've thought about, but never really considered doing because I feel like public education is so important. Learning to work with other children and having those friendships is something I want my children to have. But knowing this would be a temporary situation and that we didn't have many other options, we started considering it.
I went to the district offices to get information. I was met with a lot of coldness and found that they don't really give you much information other than how to take your child out of school. They let me know I would be on my own if I decided to pursue this, which was fine with me. They did tell me about a place I could look at called Davis Connect and see if they could help me. I went across the street to their building and met some really nice women over there. I found out that they are connected through the school district, but instead of being in a classroom setting, they do online home school. I was quite excited about this program. One of Ryan's hesitations was how we would show that Alex was still being taught. He didn't want us to get in trouble when trying to get Alex back in school and maybe have him held back for any reason. I explained our situation to them and they were very empathetic, but said they were a new program and had only a few people working there. They could only allow 40 kids right now and were totally full. I took their card, very sad that it wasn't going to work out.
I started gathering information about doing home school myself, started bugging my sisters (who are teachers) for anything they could give me that would help and getting our upstairs set up. And then out of no where, I got an email from Davis Connect saying that they had gotten approval to take Alex on and asked if I was still interested! YES YES YES!!! They would be taking care of Math, Language Arts, Science and Social Studies. Any other subjects we wanted to do would need to be done by us at home, but wouldn't really be graded by them.
Anyway, we ended up starting home school on March 19th. We are now in our 3rd week and are really loving it. The 3rd grade math was really easy for Alex, so we had them put him in 4th grade math. But we wanted to make sure he didn't miss anything in the other subjects that he would need, so he remained in 3rd grade for those. We have a great schedule going and Darek even seems to be enjoying it. I'm glad I'm in a position to be able to do this with Alex. We will probably continue doing this until we move again (and hopefully for the final time) and put him back in public school. It has made for a crazy couple of months, but I'm really happy with the outcome!
It was really hard watching Alex go from loving school and loving seeing his friends every day to a kid that despised going, didn't have any good friends and wasn't learning anything. And I almost hated asking him on the way home how school was, because he'd tell me a story about a kid that did a terrible thing to him or something he saw kids doing to other kids. It just broke my heart. But one day home I asked him how school was and he turned to me and said, "Mom, something really bad happened at school today." Not knowing what to expect he continued, "The boys were all playing rough at recess. We were just taking each other down to the ground. So I'd take a kid down then I would let another boy come up and take me down. Well, I took this kid down and he just kinda laid there. I was worried that I hurt him, so I asked him if he was okay. He didn't say anything, just stared up at me. Then he got this look on his face, jumped up and started chasing me. I ran as fast as I could and got away from him. I didn't think it was a big deal. But then a girl from my class came up to me and asked me if I knew that the kid was chasing me with a knife." He stopped his story there which left me with about a million questions. Did his teacher know? Did the kid get in trouble? Why wasn't I notified? He said the teacher did know and he thought the kid was in trouble because he went home early. But he didn't know why no one told me. Probably because he didn't get hurt was what he was thinking. People who know my personality know how conflicted I was at that point. I don't like confrontation and always worry about what other people are thinking of me. I had already sent an email to the school about another situation that had occurred. I was worried about becoming "that mom" if I drove back right then not knowing if the situation had already been taken care of. Of course looking back now, I would have done just that. So we went home and I took a good couple hours writing an email to the principal and his teacher. (Worded perfectly so I didn't come off too harsh. I really get annoyed with myself sometimes looking back on these types of situations. Annoyed that I don't feel comfortable getting in peoples faces sometimes, especially when it's totally warranted.) I sent the email and waited for a reply. The next day I got a call from Alex's teacher kind of explaining the situation. She said that there were a couple of witnesses on the playground. And each of the stories were a little different, so they didn't really know what to believe. And because Alex was running away, he didn't really see anything. They did know positively that the kid did have a pocket knife and it was at very least in his pocket. The conflict in stories was whether he actually had the knife out of his pocket and if the blade was out. The teacher would not tell me what the punishment was for this child. She asked me if I felt comfortable with everything. I told her I wasn't okay with what happened and since I didn't know what the punishment was, I couldn't really say. She also confirmed that this was a semi-common occurrence for kids to bring toy or real weapons to school. So I was not feeling comfortable and okay, especially not knowing what happened with the kid. I picked Alex up from school that day and asked him if the boy was back at school (fully expecting that he wouldn't be back yet) and Alex said that he had been there that whole day. That's the point where I started fuming! So at very LEAST, this kid came to school with a weapon. Let's say that's all that happened. Even having a weapon in his possession to me warrants a couple days suspension. But let's say more did happen... Really? The kid goes home an hour early and that takes care of it??? I was shocked and furious!
Ryan and I had several long conversations after that happened about what we should do. Listed out pros and cons. Alex was doing work that was so much lower than what he had been doing at Adelaide, didn't like his teacher and was in a potentially dangerous environment in a school that didn't give severe enough punishment for kids to understand the severity of what they did. Why were we sending him to this school? I started calling around to schools around the area, explaining what had happened and asking if they would accept a variance in the middle of the school year. I called 6 schools, all of which said they were at full capacity and couldn't do anything until the beginning of the next school year. So that was not an option. We started discussing homeschooling. This is something I've thought about, but never really considered doing because I feel like public education is so important. Learning to work with other children and having those friendships is something I want my children to have. But knowing this would be a temporary situation and that we didn't have many other options, we started considering it.
I went to the district offices to get information. I was met with a lot of coldness and found that they don't really give you much information other than how to take your child out of school. They let me know I would be on my own if I decided to pursue this, which was fine with me. They did tell me about a place I could look at called Davis Connect and see if they could help me. I went across the street to their building and met some really nice women over there. I found out that they are connected through the school district, but instead of being in a classroom setting, they do online home school. I was quite excited about this program. One of Ryan's hesitations was how we would show that Alex was still being taught. He didn't want us to get in trouble when trying to get Alex back in school and maybe have him held back for any reason. I explained our situation to them and they were very empathetic, but said they were a new program and had only a few people working there. They could only allow 40 kids right now and were totally full. I took their card, very sad that it wasn't going to work out.
I started gathering information about doing home school myself, started bugging my sisters (who are teachers) for anything they could give me that would help and getting our upstairs set up. And then out of no where, I got an email from Davis Connect saying that they had gotten approval to take Alex on and asked if I was still interested! YES YES YES!!! They would be taking care of Math, Language Arts, Science and Social Studies. Any other subjects we wanted to do would need to be done by us at home, but wouldn't really be graded by them.
Anyway, we ended up starting home school on March 19th. We are now in our 3rd week and are really loving it. The 3rd grade math was really easy for Alex, so we had them put him in 4th grade math. But we wanted to make sure he didn't miss anything in the other subjects that he would need, so he remained in 3rd grade for those. We have a great schedule going and Darek even seems to be enjoying it. I'm glad I'm in a position to be able to do this with Alex. We will probably continue doing this until we move again (and hopefully for the final time) and put him back in public school. It has made for a crazy couple of months, but I'm really happy with the outcome!
Motivation Missing
So I truly love blogging. I love writing down my stories and I really love being able to look back at them. But I have a serious lack of motivation lately and it's driving me crazy. I think part of it is that I have not been taking pictures recently and most of my posts include crazy amounts of pictures. So I am really going to try to keep the camera out, use it and post more here. Life has actually been a little nuts around here and I've really been wanting to put some of it on here. So I'm going to sit here for a bit and work at it. And then hopefully it won't be another month before I get on again!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Still Alive
For anyone out there still following my blog (if there is anyone), I thought I'd give a little update. Not too much going on or different from the usual, but here are the "highlights" of our lives right now.
- Ryan is working hard. Still doesn't have a full-time job, but keeps very busy (almost to full-time hours) with the two jobs he has now. We're still looking for that full-time one and hope it comes soon.
- Alex doesn't really like his school. He tolerates it fine, but doesn't love it like his old one. He has made some good friends here and met some not-so-nice ones. He got punched in the eye a month or so after we moved here and thankfully that kid has moved now. The kids are rougher and meaner than we're used to and we've absolutely decided this is not where we want to be for good. Alex is, however, excelling in school right now. He was the only one in his class that got straight 3's (or A's) in his class. His reading already way surpasses what he should be doing by the END of the school year. We're trying really hard to get him into soccer up here, so that when spring soccer starts, he'll have that to do. He is the only kid in his scouts group right now, so it's been really hard for him to get involved and do his wolf. I'm hoping we can help him accomplish that before his birthday... but we don't have very long!
- Darek is doing okay. I think he is very lonely. He is loving having Alex off-track right now so he has someone to play with (other than his boring mom). And he loved having his Uncle Nate here for the past couple days to play with. But he isn't really friends yet with any church kids, he isn't in preschool yet and the kids around here aren't very nice to him. Because of all of this, we've had a lot of crying and tantrums. It's been really hard having patience with him and a lot of the time, I end up losing my patience. But I've recently really been trying to hear him and be a little more tolerant. I hope we can get him doing something soon, because he needs it a lot (as do I). But our little dude is still the funniest kid around. I love his belly laugh so much. A simple laugh can brighten my whole day. I just want him to be happy.
- I am doing fine. I am bored. Now that I'm not volunteering at the school all the time or doing daycare, I'm finding myself extremely bored. It hasn't totally affected my self esteem or anything, but I'm losing my energy because I'm just not doing anything outside of the home. I'm thinking about school and/or a job, but then the issue of daycare is there. So I don't quite know what to do with myself right now. I've been proud of myself keeping a good schedule so that our home is clean the majority of the time. But I've gotta find something else to do. So we'll see what happens there...
As you can see, we've had a lot of adjustments to make. Overall, we are really happy. We've had so much family time that we are loving so much. I can't wait for better weather so we can go on more walks and enjoy the outdoors more. We have a vacation next week down to St. George for my nephew's blessing, Alex's birthday to look forward to soon, and in 82 days... another trip to Disneyland!!! It will just be our little family this time and it can't come soon enough. We've figured out that Darek is now tall enough for a lot of the "big rides". So we'll get to try him out on Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Tower of Terror, Soarin' Over California and many more. He has grown so much in a year. Last year when we went in March he was just barely (and I mean barely) 36" and right now he is 42"! He really seems to be getting taller by the second! So this will be like a whole new experience with him as he goes on these rides for the first time.
So that is us for now. I'm always trying to blog more often, but honestly there isn't too much going on and I'm rarely taking pictures. I'll have to try a little harder I think... cause I miss this!
- Ryan is working hard. Still doesn't have a full-time job, but keeps very busy (almost to full-time hours) with the two jobs he has now. We're still looking for that full-time one and hope it comes soon.
- Alex doesn't really like his school. He tolerates it fine, but doesn't love it like his old one. He has made some good friends here and met some not-so-nice ones. He got punched in the eye a month or so after we moved here and thankfully that kid has moved now. The kids are rougher and meaner than we're used to and we've absolutely decided this is not where we want to be for good. Alex is, however, excelling in school right now. He was the only one in his class that got straight 3's (or A's) in his class. His reading already way surpasses what he should be doing by the END of the school year. We're trying really hard to get him into soccer up here, so that when spring soccer starts, he'll have that to do. He is the only kid in his scouts group right now, so it's been really hard for him to get involved and do his wolf. I'm hoping we can help him accomplish that before his birthday... but we don't have very long!
- Darek is doing okay. I think he is very lonely. He is loving having Alex off-track right now so he has someone to play with (other than his boring mom). And he loved having his Uncle Nate here for the past couple days to play with. But he isn't really friends yet with any church kids, he isn't in preschool yet and the kids around here aren't very nice to him. Because of all of this, we've had a lot of crying and tantrums. It's been really hard having patience with him and a lot of the time, I end up losing my patience. But I've recently really been trying to hear him and be a little more tolerant. I hope we can get him doing something soon, because he needs it a lot (as do I). But our little dude is still the funniest kid around. I love his belly laugh so much. A simple laugh can brighten my whole day. I just want him to be happy.
- I am doing fine. I am bored. Now that I'm not volunteering at the school all the time or doing daycare, I'm finding myself extremely bored. It hasn't totally affected my self esteem or anything, but I'm losing my energy because I'm just not doing anything outside of the home. I'm thinking about school and/or a job, but then the issue of daycare is there. So I don't quite know what to do with myself right now. I've been proud of myself keeping a good schedule so that our home is clean the majority of the time. But I've gotta find something else to do. So we'll see what happens there...
As you can see, we've had a lot of adjustments to make. Overall, we are really happy. We've had so much family time that we are loving so much. I can't wait for better weather so we can go on more walks and enjoy the outdoors more. We have a vacation next week down to St. George for my nephew's blessing, Alex's birthday to look forward to soon, and in 82 days... another trip to Disneyland!!! It will just be our little family this time and it can't come soon enough. We've figured out that Darek is now tall enough for a lot of the "big rides". So we'll get to try him out on Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Tower of Terror, Soarin' Over California and many more. He has grown so much in a year. Last year when we went in March he was just barely (and I mean barely) 36" and right now he is 42"! He really seems to be getting taller by the second! So this will be like a whole new experience with him as he goes on these rides for the first time.
So that is us for now. I'm always trying to blog more often, but honestly there isn't too much going on and I'm rarely taking pictures. I'll have to try a little harder I think... cause I miss this!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
End Of A Year
I have much to post about with Christmas and I still need to post pictures of our apartment. But I wanted to post now about the end of 2011 and looking towards 2012.
We had a really great 2011. It was full of many changes, but so far most of them have been very good changes.
I'm grateful for all of the life-lessons I've experienced and am still experiencing this year. Some have been really hard on me, still are, but hopefully there will be something to learn at the end of it all.
I'm grateful for my children who continue to grow and learn everyday. They are such good boys, sweet and tender... and a little feisty. ;) But I'm so grateful that they know how much I love them and I'm so grateful to have their love.
I'm so VERY grateful for an amazing husband. He is so amazing with me. Always willing to listen, give advice, let me cry on his shoulder, provide, help raise our kids, helps around the house... etc. He is more than I could have ever hoped for and definitely more than I deserve.
Onto a brand new year... 2012! I have a feeling and hope that it's going to be an amazing one. I have many things I'd like to accomplish this year, so I'm writing them down and hopefully will check up on them to see how I'm doing.
1. Always on the top of my list, bring another child into our family... in whatever way possible.
2. Find Ryan a full-time job
3. Move out of state
4. Get into a home... and I'm okay if we're renting it. It's a bit too much to buy a home right after moving out of state. We want to make sure we like an area before we buy a home there.
5. Get some kind of schooling done. I would really like to do the EMT program at the DATC and I hope we can come up with the money for me to do that.
6. Go to Disneyland. :)
7. Spend lots of quality time with Ryan and my boys.
8. Get a job.
9. Laugh a lot.
10. Be happy and content with whatever comes our way.
That's a pretty hefty list of goals. I'm not expecting to accomplish them all, but I hope to at least be working my way towards them.
Happy New Year!
We had a really great 2011. It was full of many changes, but so far most of them have been very good changes.
I'm grateful for all of the life-lessons I've experienced and am still experiencing this year. Some have been really hard on me, still are, but hopefully there will be something to learn at the end of it all.
I'm grateful for my children who continue to grow and learn everyday. They are such good boys, sweet and tender... and a little feisty. ;) But I'm so grateful that they know how much I love them and I'm so grateful to have their love.
I'm so VERY grateful for an amazing husband. He is so amazing with me. Always willing to listen, give advice, let me cry on his shoulder, provide, help raise our kids, helps around the house... etc. He is more than I could have ever hoped for and definitely more than I deserve.
Onto a brand new year... 2012! I have a feeling and hope that it's going to be an amazing one. I have many things I'd like to accomplish this year, so I'm writing them down and hopefully will check up on them to see how I'm doing.
1. Always on the top of my list, bring another child into our family... in whatever way possible.
2. Find Ryan a full-time job
3. Move out of state
4. Get into a home... and I'm okay if we're renting it. It's a bit too much to buy a home right after moving out of state. We want to make sure we like an area before we buy a home there.
5. Get some kind of schooling done. I would really like to do the EMT program at the DATC and I hope we can come up with the money for me to do that.
6. Go to Disneyland. :)
7. Spend lots of quality time with Ryan and my boys.
8. Get a job.
9. Laugh a lot.
10. Be happy and content with whatever comes our way.
That's a pretty hefty list of goals. I'm not expecting to accomplish them all, but I hope to at least be working my way towards them.
Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Darek and Ian's Adoption Story - Part 2
So I didn't intend it would take 2 weeks to get to part 2, but I'm finally sitting down and have a little while to write the rest of it out. So here it goes!
I remember walking through the airport with Alice and feeling very much dazed. I couldn't imagine that this was all real. We were very sleep deprived but the excitement was keeping us awake. The nerves started to set in for me. I had no idea what to expect. Even though we had some details, there were a lot of other questions and worries I suddenly had. How big are the boys now? Are we going to be seeing and talking to the birth mom? Am I going to see them and love them like I loved Alex? I hadn't questioned this before because I didn't think I'd have issues with that with all the foster kids we'd had over the years and knowing how much I loved each one of them. But this was different. These weren't my siblings, these boys were my children. I remember shaking in the car ride over to the hospital. Alice told us we were going to go over to the first hospital - Norfolk General to see Baby A. After we were done there, we'd walk next door to the other hospital - Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters (CHKD) to see Baby B. I tried to enjoy the scenery, since this part of VA was a place we'd never been before. But I don't remember really caring about that.
We finally got to the hospital and checked in. We went up to the NICU in that hospital. Even though Baby A was doing fine, he was still being kept there because of his size. We had been told that he would still be on a feeding tube and we'd need to learn how to use that before we left. We got to the NICU, washed our hands, checked in and went in to see him. I remember the layout perfectly. We went around a little corner and there he was, laying in his crib. My first reaction was the shock at his size. He was the tiniest baby I had ever seen! And he was double what he was at birth! Then I looked into my sons face. He was so beautiful. He had the softest, curly hair and the sweetest little chubby cheeks. How in the world could a baby so small have chubby anything!?! He had big, beautiful brown eyes that looked right up at me. I was in love. Plain and simple. This little boy was ours. I was his mom. After Ryan and I had looked at him, it only took a few minutes to decide that Baby A was Darek. I had wanted to see them both before deciding for certain, but I was 99% sure he was Darek. I was expecting wires and tubes, but he didn't have any of that. I asked the nurse about the feeding tube and she told me that he got sick of it a few days ago and pulled it out and had been taking bottles just fine. I was in awe that this tiny little guy who still wasn't supposed to be born for another month and a half was this perfectly healthy baby boy. I wanted to scoop him up and take him with us right then, but there were still tests they had to do to be sure he was ready to leave. So we said goodbye temporarily to him so we could go meet his brother.
It felt like this crazy maze going out of the 1st hospital over to the 2nd and I swear it was an hour before we got there, although I'm sure it was just minutes. Alice had told us that Baby B was not doing as well, but that he really just needed more time. I was a little more nervous to see him because I wasn't sure how he would look or how severe the problems were. But as we got closer to the NICU at CHKD, all of the worries seemed to go away. We had to check in at the front desk before heading back. The secretaries there were so wonderful as we told them who we were. We were told what room and bed he was in. We got to the room and had to wash our hands really well. I'd like anyone to try and stand there and wash their hands for the full 2 minutes, when your baby is just out of sight right from you. It's nearly impossible. But I managed to get through those few minutes and head back to his incubator. There were probably a total of 10 babies in each section and I remember looking at them as I headed back to my baby. He was the last one in that row, right next to the window. As soon as I saw him, I had the same feelings I had with Darek. I knew so quickly that he was my son. I felt like I already knew him. It was such an amazing feeling. And as soon as I looked at his face, I was totally positive about the names. He was most definitely Ian! I wasn't as bothered by all the wires and tubes as I thought I would be. I just focused on his beautiful little face. He features to me were softer, sweeter almost. He was asleep when we got there. We opened the holes to the incubator and put our hands on him. Again, he was so tiny. He had the softest hair with the most beautiful curls. The nurses gave us some information that I didn't understand even a little bit. But they told us that he was the sweetest baby in there. He was always so good and they loved to come sit with him. I can't remember how long we were there with him, but it didn't feel like very long before we left to go eat and talk about signing papers.
We went to the cafeteria and ate. All of a sudden I started to feel a little tired. After we ate, we found a little quiet area in the hospital and sat down with Alice and signed the adoption papers. She mentioned that there was still a certain time period that Beatrice (our birth mom) could change her mind, but assured us that she was sure that wouldn't happen. We got a little bit more information about Beatrice and found it interesting that she already had 2 little girls and was 20 years old. We asked if we'd be meeting her, but Alice said she wasn't really interested in meeting us. We were a little sad but were okay with whatever she thought would be best for her. We went through the enormous stack of paper work and signed our names a million times.
After we were done with the paperwork and feeling like everything was official, we headed back over to Norfolk General to get our baby Darek. We got over there and there was still so much to do. They hadn't done his car seat test, which was going to take a while. He still was hooked to monitors and needed to be dressed still (which I couldn't wait to do). So as we waited, I took a little time to step out and call a few people, including the people we were going to be staying with in VA. We had been bugged all day by excited family members, but there hadn't been much time to call or update people. It was getting to a point where everything was just taking so long. Alice was getting quite impatient (not that I could blame her) and was more than ready to leave. She suggested we just leave for the night and come back tomorrow for his release. WHAT?!? Oh no, I don't think so! We were so excited and had come so far, I wasn't going to leave my baby at the hospital, when I knew I could wait just a little longer and have him come home that night. So we waited. After everything finally came through and we talked to the doctors and nurses about appointments he would need in the next few days, we finally got Darek dressed, in his car seat and left the hospital. It was an incredible feeling! Alice pulled her car up and we loaded him in.
Now another bunch of nerves set in. We were going to be staying with a family in Chesapeake whom we had never met. We had originally thought we'd be staying across the street at a Ronald McDonald house, but found out they wouldn't let us stay there with an infant. So stupid. So a social worker had gotten word out in the area, through the church about our situation. And this amazing family had stepped up and agreed to take us in for the time we were here. We didn't know much about them, just that they were amazing to let us come stay. When we arrived at the Hunter-Holmes, we were brought in with open arms. And immediately, I felt like I had known this family for years. The family consisted of Steve and Pam and their kids Maya (who was 7 or 8), Avery (who was a month older than Alex - 5) and Ian (complete coincidence who was a few months old). They were all so excited to see Darek and had a hot dinner ready for us to eat, even though it was so late. They showed us where we would be staying and I think I stayed up for a few hours just talking to Pam. On top of having 3 kids, she was also the Relief Society President. I was amazed at the generosity of this family and will always feel in debted to them, in more than one way.
The next day we went back over to CHKD to spend more time with Ian. We took little Darek over with us. Because Darek wasn't allowed back in the NICU, Ryan and I had to take turns going back. They told us that Ian was doing really good that day and we could hold him that day. Because Ryan was going to leave the next day, I told him to take this special time with Ian. I stayed out with Darek and got to meet some wonderful people. The chaplain they had there, Chaplain Reggie, was amazing. We told him our story and he was in awe that we would do this. And of course we felt so privileged. He was in love with Darek and offered to sit with him for a little while so I could go back with Ryan and Ian. I'm so glad he did, because we got some wonderful pictures while we were back there together. We spent several hours there that day and had some wonderful time with Ian.
The next day Ryan had to leave. He left very early in the morning. Darek and I drove Ryan to the airport and said goodbye. It was so hard saying goodbye and I knew how difficult it would be not having him there. Over the next week, things were crazy! I tried to get to the hospital to see Ian as much as possible, but it was so hard with not being able to take Darek with me. Pam was nice enough to watch him when she could, but I also had several doctor appointments I had to take Darek to in the mean time. It was a very hard week. I did get to take a day and go with the Hunter-Holmes family to the Norfolk zoo. That was so much fun and a very needed break. Finally the day came for me to leave and go home with Darek. I went to the hospital that morning and spent some time with Ian. It was so hard to leave. I said goodbye to him, and kissed him. As soon as I left the room, I broke into tears. It was such a difficult thing to do to leave him there. I went back to the house, finished packing up our stuff and Pam took me to the airport. It was almost as difficult saying goodbye to her too. But I was also so excited to get home to Alex and introduce him to one of his new baby brothers.
I flew from Norfolk to Houston and had a 4 hour layover there. It was fun walking through the airport there with this teeny little baby. There were many people that literally thought I was holding a baby doll. It was fun to meet new people and share our story. Darek had some kind of stomach bug on our leg home from Houston and must have pooped 6 or 7 times. I spent most of that flight in the bathroom changing his diaper. And I almost ran out of diapers because I thought 7 diapers would be more than enough for a couple hours flight. We finally landed at the airport in Salt Lake and I took Darek in to the bathroom to change him one more time before taking him out to meet Alex, Papa and Grandma. Ryan had to work that night, so he didn't get to come to the airport to see us. The woman that had sat next to me on the flight had come out and spotted my parents, since she knew what was happening. She let them know how cute Darek which made them even more anxious. I'll never forget the looks on their faces as I came out with Darek. I asked Alex first if he wanted to hold him. He was so nervous and said no. So immediately my mom took him out of my arms. We got our luggage together and started to walk out. Before we got to the elevator, Alex said he was ready to hold him. So we stopped and Alex sat down and held his brother for the first time. It was amazing and precious for me to see. I'll never forget that moment.
The next month was filled with having a new baby at home, getting used to having Alex in school and Ryan at school and full time work. I called the NICU constantly, although maybe not enough. We talked about moving Ian to PCMC so he could be closer. We'd have ups and downs with him getting off the vent, then back on. It all continued until the day he passed away. I am not going to relive that day right now because just reliving the rest of this story has been so emotional. There will always be a void in our home where Ian should be. Always a part of me missing. But I love my son so much and can't wait to see him again.
I know I've left out so many details, but this is our adoption story. I love telling it and I'm glad to have it written down now so I can come back and read it whenever I want to.
I really hope that we will get the opportunity to adopt again. It's a magical experience. One that we will never forget and always feel so grateful to have experienced.
I remember walking through the airport with Alice and feeling very much dazed. I couldn't imagine that this was all real. We were very sleep deprived but the excitement was keeping us awake. The nerves started to set in for me. I had no idea what to expect. Even though we had some details, there were a lot of other questions and worries I suddenly had. How big are the boys now? Are we going to be seeing and talking to the birth mom? Am I going to see them and love them like I loved Alex? I hadn't questioned this before because I didn't think I'd have issues with that with all the foster kids we'd had over the years and knowing how much I loved each one of them. But this was different. These weren't my siblings, these boys were my children. I remember shaking in the car ride over to the hospital. Alice told us we were going to go over to the first hospital - Norfolk General to see Baby A. After we were done there, we'd walk next door to the other hospital - Childrens Hospital of the Kings Daughters (CHKD) to see Baby B. I tried to enjoy the scenery, since this part of VA was a place we'd never been before. But I don't remember really caring about that.
We finally got to the hospital and checked in. We went up to the NICU in that hospital. Even though Baby A was doing fine, he was still being kept there because of his size. We had been told that he would still be on a feeding tube and we'd need to learn how to use that before we left. We got to the NICU, washed our hands, checked in and went in to see him. I remember the layout perfectly. We went around a little corner and there he was, laying in his crib. My first reaction was the shock at his size. He was the tiniest baby I had ever seen! And he was double what he was at birth! Then I looked into my sons face. He was so beautiful. He had the softest, curly hair and the sweetest little chubby cheeks. How in the world could a baby so small have chubby anything!?! He had big, beautiful brown eyes that looked right up at me. I was in love. Plain and simple. This little boy was ours. I was his mom. After Ryan and I had looked at him, it only took a few minutes to decide that Baby A was Darek. I had wanted to see them both before deciding for certain, but I was 99% sure he was Darek. I was expecting wires and tubes, but he didn't have any of that. I asked the nurse about the feeding tube and she told me that he got sick of it a few days ago and pulled it out and had been taking bottles just fine. I was in awe that this tiny little guy who still wasn't supposed to be born for another month and a half was this perfectly healthy baby boy. I wanted to scoop him up and take him with us right then, but there were still tests they had to do to be sure he was ready to leave. So we said goodbye temporarily to him so we could go meet his brother.
It felt like this crazy maze going out of the 1st hospital over to the 2nd and I swear it was an hour before we got there, although I'm sure it was just minutes. Alice had told us that Baby B was not doing as well, but that he really just needed more time. I was a little more nervous to see him because I wasn't sure how he would look or how severe the problems were. But as we got closer to the NICU at CHKD, all of the worries seemed to go away. We had to check in at the front desk before heading back. The secretaries there were so wonderful as we told them who we were. We were told what room and bed he was in. We got to the room and had to wash our hands really well. I'd like anyone to try and stand there and wash their hands for the full 2 minutes, when your baby is just out of sight right from you. It's nearly impossible. But I managed to get through those few minutes and head back to his incubator. There were probably a total of 10 babies in each section and I remember looking at them as I headed back to my baby. He was the last one in that row, right next to the window. As soon as I saw him, I had the same feelings I had with Darek. I knew so quickly that he was my son. I felt like I already knew him. It was such an amazing feeling. And as soon as I looked at his face, I was totally positive about the names. He was most definitely Ian! I wasn't as bothered by all the wires and tubes as I thought I would be. I just focused on his beautiful little face. He features to me were softer, sweeter almost. He was asleep when we got there. We opened the holes to the incubator and put our hands on him. Again, he was so tiny. He had the softest hair with the most beautiful curls. The nurses gave us some information that I didn't understand even a little bit. But they told us that he was the sweetest baby in there. He was always so good and they loved to come sit with him. I can't remember how long we were there with him, but it didn't feel like very long before we left to go eat and talk about signing papers.
We went to the cafeteria and ate. All of a sudden I started to feel a little tired. After we ate, we found a little quiet area in the hospital and sat down with Alice and signed the adoption papers. She mentioned that there was still a certain time period that Beatrice (our birth mom) could change her mind, but assured us that she was sure that wouldn't happen. We got a little bit more information about Beatrice and found it interesting that she already had 2 little girls and was 20 years old. We asked if we'd be meeting her, but Alice said she wasn't really interested in meeting us. We were a little sad but were okay with whatever she thought would be best for her. We went through the enormous stack of paper work and signed our names a million times.
After we were done with the paperwork and feeling like everything was official, we headed back over to Norfolk General to get our baby Darek. We got over there and there was still so much to do. They hadn't done his car seat test, which was going to take a while. He still was hooked to monitors and needed to be dressed still (which I couldn't wait to do). So as we waited, I took a little time to step out and call a few people, including the people we were going to be staying with in VA. We had been bugged all day by excited family members, but there hadn't been much time to call or update people. It was getting to a point where everything was just taking so long. Alice was getting quite impatient (not that I could blame her) and was more than ready to leave. She suggested we just leave for the night and come back tomorrow for his release. WHAT?!? Oh no, I don't think so! We were so excited and had come so far, I wasn't going to leave my baby at the hospital, when I knew I could wait just a little longer and have him come home that night. So we waited. After everything finally came through and we talked to the doctors and nurses about appointments he would need in the next few days, we finally got Darek dressed, in his car seat and left the hospital. It was an incredible feeling! Alice pulled her car up and we loaded him in.
Now another bunch of nerves set in. We were going to be staying with a family in Chesapeake whom we had never met. We had originally thought we'd be staying across the street at a Ronald McDonald house, but found out they wouldn't let us stay there with an infant. So stupid. So a social worker had gotten word out in the area, through the church about our situation. And this amazing family had stepped up and agreed to take us in for the time we were here. We didn't know much about them, just that they were amazing to let us come stay. When we arrived at the Hunter-Holmes, we were brought in with open arms. And immediately, I felt like I had known this family for years. The family consisted of Steve and Pam and their kids Maya (who was 7 or 8), Avery (who was a month older than Alex - 5) and Ian (complete coincidence who was a few months old). They were all so excited to see Darek and had a hot dinner ready for us to eat, even though it was so late. They showed us where we would be staying and I think I stayed up for a few hours just talking to Pam. On top of having 3 kids, she was also the Relief Society President. I was amazed at the generosity of this family and will always feel in debted to them, in more than one way.
The next day we went back over to CHKD to spend more time with Ian. We took little Darek over with us. Because Darek wasn't allowed back in the NICU, Ryan and I had to take turns going back. They told us that Ian was doing really good that day and we could hold him that day. Because Ryan was going to leave the next day, I told him to take this special time with Ian. I stayed out with Darek and got to meet some wonderful people. The chaplain they had there, Chaplain Reggie, was amazing. We told him our story and he was in awe that we would do this. And of course we felt so privileged. He was in love with Darek and offered to sit with him for a little while so I could go back with Ryan and Ian. I'm so glad he did, because we got some wonderful pictures while we were back there together. We spent several hours there that day and had some wonderful time with Ian.
The next day Ryan had to leave. He left very early in the morning. Darek and I drove Ryan to the airport and said goodbye. It was so hard saying goodbye and I knew how difficult it would be not having him there. Over the next week, things were crazy! I tried to get to the hospital to see Ian as much as possible, but it was so hard with not being able to take Darek with me. Pam was nice enough to watch him when she could, but I also had several doctor appointments I had to take Darek to in the mean time. It was a very hard week. I did get to take a day and go with the Hunter-Holmes family to the Norfolk zoo. That was so much fun and a very needed break. Finally the day came for me to leave and go home with Darek. I went to the hospital that morning and spent some time with Ian. It was so hard to leave. I said goodbye to him, and kissed him. As soon as I left the room, I broke into tears. It was such a difficult thing to do to leave him there. I went back to the house, finished packing up our stuff and Pam took me to the airport. It was almost as difficult saying goodbye to her too. But I was also so excited to get home to Alex and introduce him to one of his new baby brothers.
I flew from Norfolk to Houston and had a 4 hour layover there. It was fun walking through the airport there with this teeny little baby. There were many people that literally thought I was holding a baby doll. It was fun to meet new people and share our story. Darek had some kind of stomach bug on our leg home from Houston and must have pooped 6 or 7 times. I spent most of that flight in the bathroom changing his diaper. And I almost ran out of diapers because I thought 7 diapers would be more than enough for a couple hours flight. We finally landed at the airport in Salt Lake and I took Darek in to the bathroom to change him one more time before taking him out to meet Alex, Papa and Grandma. Ryan had to work that night, so he didn't get to come to the airport to see us. The woman that had sat next to me on the flight had come out and spotted my parents, since she knew what was happening. She let them know how cute Darek which made them even more anxious. I'll never forget the looks on their faces as I came out with Darek. I asked Alex first if he wanted to hold him. He was so nervous and said no. So immediately my mom took him out of my arms. We got our luggage together and started to walk out. Before we got to the elevator, Alex said he was ready to hold him. So we stopped and Alex sat down and held his brother for the first time. It was amazing and precious for me to see. I'll never forget that moment.
The next month was filled with having a new baby at home, getting used to having Alex in school and Ryan at school and full time work. I called the NICU constantly, although maybe not enough. We talked about moving Ian to PCMC so he could be closer. We'd have ups and downs with him getting off the vent, then back on. It all continued until the day he passed away. I am not going to relive that day right now because just reliving the rest of this story has been so emotional. There will always be a void in our home where Ian should be. Always a part of me missing. But I love my son so much and can't wait to see him again.
I know I've left out so many details, but this is our adoption story. I love telling it and I'm glad to have it written down now so I can come back and read it whenever I want to.
I really hope that we will get the opportunity to adopt again. It's a magical experience. One that we will never forget and always feel so grateful to have experienced.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thankful
Before November is totally over, I wanted to focus on some of the things that our family is thankful for this year. I've asked each member of our family to come up with 10 things that they are thankful for this year. I'll go first so I don't "cheat" off anyone else's. :) In no particular order, here are the things our family is grateful for:
Mandi
1. My husband and boys - I truly don't know what I'd do without them
2. Our new home - I love it more and more each day we're here
3. Family time - Since moving, we've been able to spend lots of wonderful time together exploring our new surroundings. I have LOVED every moment of this time together.
4. Extended family - I always love getting together with extended family and creating new memories.
5. Perspective - It's been so good to move to a place where I can see people who struggle but still feel that they have it all. I don't know if that sounds bad, but where we lived with my parents, it was a wealthier area and it showed sometimes in the attitude of people there. I'm glad to be "struggling" and get that perspective back of what really matters in our lives.
6. New friends - Ok, so a lot of my things revolve around moving. :) But it's been so fun already getting to know new neighbors and ward members. Our next door neighbors have kids about the same age as ours and come from very similar backgrounds. I'm excited to get to know them and others better and make some new, lasting friendships.
7. Old friends - I love my friends so much. They are my backbone and without them, I would go crazy. I'm so grateful to know that no matter where we end up, I will have my friends with me for life and beyond!
8. Possibility - I feel like I have a new life and am toying with many possible things in my future. I'm not sure yet what I'll do exactly, but the possibilities are there and are very real!
9. Our cats - I feel silly writing this one down, but I love our kitties so much! They add so much fun to our lives and I love that we got both of them from shelters.
10. Knowledge - I'm not the smartest person out there, far from it even, but I'm grateful to know the things that I know. And I'm grateful to the people who teach me new things on a daily basis (especially Ryan).
Now that I'm into this, I could go on forever, but I won't hog the whole post. The rest of them probably won't have as much explanation.... I just like to talk a lot. :)
Alex
1. Family
2. Pets
3. New house
4. Clothes
5. Shoes
6. Furniture
7. Food
8. TV/Movies and Video games
9. The Earth
10. Sports... especially soccer
I have a feeling he was just looking around and saying what he was looking at. That's okay though, cause all of those things are wonderful things to have.
Darek
1. Santa Claus
2. Snowballs
3. Christmas Tree
4. Kitten
5. Disneyland
6. Daddy and Mommy
7. Our new house
8. Alex
9. Other family members (he named all of them)
10. Lagoon
Ryan
1. Family
2. Our Country
3. Technology
4. Knowledge
5. Compassion
6. Agency
7. Air Conditioning
8. Employment
9. Understanding
10. Forgiveness
There it is... I probably would have stolen a couple from the different lists. We are thankful for so much more than that, but this gives a few things that top our list. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Mandi
1. My husband and boys - I truly don't know what I'd do without them
2. Our new home - I love it more and more each day we're here
3. Family time - Since moving, we've been able to spend lots of wonderful time together exploring our new surroundings. I have LOVED every moment of this time together.
4. Extended family - I always love getting together with extended family and creating new memories.
5. Perspective - It's been so good to move to a place where I can see people who struggle but still feel that they have it all. I don't know if that sounds bad, but where we lived with my parents, it was a wealthier area and it showed sometimes in the attitude of people there. I'm glad to be "struggling" and get that perspective back of what really matters in our lives.
6. New friends - Ok, so a lot of my things revolve around moving. :) But it's been so fun already getting to know new neighbors and ward members. Our next door neighbors have kids about the same age as ours and come from very similar backgrounds. I'm excited to get to know them and others better and make some new, lasting friendships.
7. Old friends - I love my friends so much. They are my backbone and without them, I would go crazy. I'm so grateful to know that no matter where we end up, I will have my friends with me for life and beyond!
8. Possibility - I feel like I have a new life and am toying with many possible things in my future. I'm not sure yet what I'll do exactly, but the possibilities are there and are very real!
9. Our cats - I feel silly writing this one down, but I love our kitties so much! They add so much fun to our lives and I love that we got both of them from shelters.
10. Knowledge - I'm not the smartest person out there, far from it even, but I'm grateful to know the things that I know. And I'm grateful to the people who teach me new things on a daily basis (especially Ryan).
Now that I'm into this, I could go on forever, but I won't hog the whole post. The rest of them probably won't have as much explanation.... I just like to talk a lot. :)
Alex
1. Family
2. Pets
3. New house
4. Clothes
5. Shoes
6. Furniture
7. Food
8. TV/Movies and Video games
9. The Earth
10. Sports... especially soccer
I have a feeling he was just looking around and saying what he was looking at. That's okay though, cause all of those things are wonderful things to have.
Darek
1. Santa Claus
2. Snowballs
3. Christmas Tree
4. Kitten
5. Disneyland
6. Daddy and Mommy
7. Our new house
8. Alex
9. Other family members (he named all of them)
10. Lagoon
Ryan
1. Family
2. Our Country
3. Technology
4. Knowledge
5. Compassion
6. Agency
7. Air Conditioning
8. Employment
9. Understanding
10. Forgiveness
There it is... I probably would have stolen a couple from the different lists. We are thankful for so much more than that, but this gives a few things that top our list. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Darek and Ian's Adoption Story - Part 1
My friend Amy posted her little girls adoption story in honor of National Adoption Month. After reading it, I've been inspired to do the same. I posted bits and pieces of it when we got the boys, but never went through the whole thing. Hopefully I can remember it all and hopefully get through it in one post. Just a warning... it might be pretty long. ;)
Ryan and I have always wanted a pretty good sized family (4-5 kids) and never thought it would be a problem. When it took 14 months and some fertility drugs to get Alex, we figured it would probably be the same with any future children. So we didn't wait long to start trying for another one after Alex was born. Each year passed with fertility drugs and procedures. After 4 years, some pretty bad break downs on my part and lots of failed attempts, we stopped the drugs and procedures and took a little break. The break didn't last long because we had such a strong desire to add to our family. We immediately started talking about adoption. It was something I always eventually wanted to do... this just gave us the opportunity to do it sooner than we had planned. We got the information we needed and started the process to adopt. It took us about 6 months to get everything completed and approved. We got our approval letter in February 2008. We knew that because we already had a child, we would probably end up waiting a bit longer than a couple without a child. We were expecting a possible 2 year wait. Even though it was a long time, we knew we were at least working towards our goal.
We were never really contacted by any birth parents within that first little bit and we weren't really surprised. Late on Friday, August 22, 2008 I saw that I had missed a phone call and had a voicemail. I listened to the voicemail. It was our social worker calling about twin boys in Virginia that were looking for an adoption placement. My heart skipped a beat. I was excited but almost immediately started to dismiss the call. Twins? Virginia? Right now? Alex was starting Kindergarten on Monday and Ryan was going to be in his 2nd week of his Radiology program for school. This would just be impossible! TWINS!?! But I couldn't shake the call. I casually brought it up to Ryan. His first reaction.... Twins??? I told him I knew and had no idea how we'd do it, but convinced him that it wouldn't be a "big deal" to just call our social worker back for a little more information. He agreed and I called her. She gave me a few more details including the fact that the adoption would be through another agency. She gave me the contact information and said to contact them if we were interested. Ryan again said he just didn't think it would work. I agreed but again said it wouldn't be a "big deal" if I just called the agency back east to get a little more information. After talking to the other agency and really getting the information about the boys, my heart was about jumping out of my chest. I sat down with Ryan and we had a very long talk about it. Ryan was pretty focused on the "twins" part of it and the horrible timing part of it. But he went off the feelings I had about it. I told him that if we wanted to proceed and get a little more serious about it that we would need to fax our paperwork to the agency over the weekend. He was so worried about it but said if I felt good about it that he was okay with proceeding. (I just want to note here that in NO way did Ryan not want these boys. He was so concerned about all the details... it's the kind of person he is and I'm glad he is that way. I tend to work from the heart and him from the brain. It works out pretty well because both of us think of things the other doesn't.) Over the weekend, I worked on getting our agency to fax back our paperwork. I felt like I was on the phone the whole weekend. I was also learning what a miracle it was that we were even notified of these boys. The news traveled through several social workers to get to our agency, which totally confirmed to me that these boys belonged with us. But I knew it was still a long shot for us to even be chosen. After we had sent all the paperwork in on Saturday, I decided to tell just a few close friends and family about the situation and ask them to pray for us. We were told that we would have an answer Monday morning.
Waking up Monday morning, Ryan had left for school and I probably should have been totally focused on Alex's first day of school. And I was to a certain degree, but the seconds ticked by so slowly and I was sure I was about ready to get some disappointing news. I got a phone call around 9:00 that morning. It was the director of the agency here in Utah. He said he was in contact with the agency back east and they had narrowed the couples down to 3.... and we happened to be one of them. He asked me several questions. How big is your apartment... will you have enough room for twins.... do you plan to work after bringing them home.... I answered the questions and when it came to working after bringing them home... I said no. NO??!? What was I thinking? Ryan had just quit his full time job so he could focus on school. He was still working part time and I was working full time and had the benefits. I honestly hadn't thought about it and had NO CLUE how we would pay for twins if I decided not to work. But I said I would not be working after bringing them home. And I wasn't lying. I really meant it. Boy, Ryan was going to be surprised about that! He said that was all he needed and would be calling back within an hour with a decision. I was a complete basket case! I can only imagine what Alex was thinking watching me pace around the house. I didn't sit still the entire time. An hour passed and no call. 1 hour 15 mins... nothing. 1 hour 30 min... they must have called the adoptive parents already and now they're going to call us with bad news. I was devastated. I was certain we were not chosen. And to know we came within 3 couples. It was a terrible feeling. Finally 1 hour and 37 minutes later. (I'm crying right now thinking about this moment.) I remember having a very solemn tone to my voice when I answered. He asked me if we were ready to fly out to Virginia to pick up our boys. I started crying on the spot. He said he'd give me a minute to gather myself. I had about a million things going through my mind and somehow managed to get some very important information down... including the fact that Baby A was going to be released from the hospital the NEXT DAY and we would need to fly out TONIGHT!!! I got off the phone and started sobbing. I grabbed Alex and hugged him and told him he was finally going to be a big brother. Something he had waited a VERY long time for and wanted so badly. I called Ryan to let him know he was going to be a Daddy again, but only got his voicemail. I left him a message... a weird message to leave on your husbands phone. ("Hey babe, can you pick up some milk on the way home? Oh and by the way, you're a proud new father of twins!") I had kept my Mom informed of what was going on and she knew I'd be getting an answer soon. She had her visiting teachers over when we got the news and they had no clue. I told Alex to go upstairs and tell Grandma that he was going to be a big brother. I crept up the stairs behind him so I could hear the reaction. There was a lot of screaming, then crying. We told the visiting teachers what was going on and then kindly told them they needed to leave... because we had A LOT to do!! We called my Dad and got him working on getting us plane tickets for that night. I really wanted to go to Alex's kindergarten orientation. I didn't want to miss out on it and really didn't want him to miss out on it. My Mom took off to the store and bought lots of teeny tiny little preemie clothes and diapers. After all... we had NOTHING! We had been given less than 24 hours notice and we were totally unprepared! I took Alex to the school around noon for orientation. I had to leave about 5 times to take phone calls, one of which was finally Ryan. He had finally gotten my message. Even with as nervous as he had been, he was so excited! I told him we were leaving that night and he needed to get things figured out with school and then get his butt home! He was worried about school and worried that they wouldn't let him take the time off. But they were so happy and excited for him and he had no problems getting a couple days off to fly out. Honestly, a lot of that afternoon was a complete blur. I remember orientation a little bit and then coming home to pack. I don't remember much after that. I remember Ryan getting home and getting really excited. I remember calling Ryan's parents and leaving a message for them that they were going to be grandparents again. And then I remember the airport. My parents drove us to the airport. We had decided it wouldn't be wise to take Alex. I hated making this decision and it's one I still kind of regret. Had I known everything I know now, he would have come with us and flown home with Ryan. But I won't get into all of that. It was so hard leaving him at the airport. We were so excited but I hated leaving him. He was so excited too and understood why he couldn't come, but still wanted to so badly. We hugged and kissed him a million times and said goodbye. We got to our gate, got on the plane and took off. It was a red eye flight, so we should have been sleeping. Right. How in the world can you sleep knowing you would be meeting your children in just a few short hours. I remember looking through a baby name book almost the entire time. We had 2 names to come up with and (no offense) the names we had picked out for "future children" didn't really fit for African American kids. :) So we really had to start fresh. Ryan and I had a really hard time agreeing on names. I had quite a few picked out and Ryan really didn't like very many of them. I look back at some of the names I had picked out and am SO HAPPY Ryan didn't like them. I actually kept a list of the names I had started looking at over the weekend we were sending our paperwork back. Even though we hadn't officially been chosen, I had already started looking at names. :) Here is my list dated 8/24/08 (Sunday).
I still very much like Keenan, but all Ryan could think of was Keenan Wayans... so he vetoed that one. I did get to use Ian Jacob and Ethan for a middle name. But Ryan really liked Darek. I wasn't really into that name at all. I figured he would drop it, but he kept bringing it up. The more I thought about it, the more I liked it. But I didn't like a lot of the spellings. Derrick, Derek, Derick, Derec, Dereck... but when I saw Darek, it just kind of clicked. By the time we landed, we had the names Darek Ethan and Ian Jacob picked out. We just didn't know which name would go to which baby. We got of the plane, got our luggage and found our social worker, Alice, waiting to take us to our babies.
Ok, this is getting very long. So I'm gonna quit for the night. I will get to Part 2 soon!
Ryan and I have always wanted a pretty good sized family (4-5 kids) and never thought it would be a problem. When it took 14 months and some fertility drugs to get Alex, we figured it would probably be the same with any future children. So we didn't wait long to start trying for another one after Alex was born. Each year passed with fertility drugs and procedures. After 4 years, some pretty bad break downs on my part and lots of failed attempts, we stopped the drugs and procedures and took a little break. The break didn't last long because we had such a strong desire to add to our family. We immediately started talking about adoption. It was something I always eventually wanted to do... this just gave us the opportunity to do it sooner than we had planned. We got the information we needed and started the process to adopt. It took us about 6 months to get everything completed and approved. We got our approval letter in February 2008. We knew that because we already had a child, we would probably end up waiting a bit longer than a couple without a child. We were expecting a possible 2 year wait. Even though it was a long time, we knew we were at least working towards our goal.
We were never really contacted by any birth parents within that first little bit and we weren't really surprised. Late on Friday, August 22, 2008 I saw that I had missed a phone call and had a voicemail. I listened to the voicemail. It was our social worker calling about twin boys in Virginia that were looking for an adoption placement. My heart skipped a beat. I was excited but almost immediately started to dismiss the call. Twins? Virginia? Right now? Alex was starting Kindergarten on Monday and Ryan was going to be in his 2nd week of his Radiology program for school. This would just be impossible! TWINS!?! But I couldn't shake the call. I casually brought it up to Ryan. His first reaction.... Twins??? I told him I knew and had no idea how we'd do it, but convinced him that it wouldn't be a "big deal" to just call our social worker back for a little more information. He agreed and I called her. She gave me a few more details including the fact that the adoption would be through another agency. She gave me the contact information and said to contact them if we were interested. Ryan again said he just didn't think it would work. I agreed but again said it wouldn't be a "big deal" if I just called the agency back east to get a little more information. After talking to the other agency and really getting the information about the boys, my heart was about jumping out of my chest. I sat down with Ryan and we had a very long talk about it. Ryan was pretty focused on the "twins" part of it and the horrible timing part of it. But he went off the feelings I had about it. I told him that if we wanted to proceed and get a little more serious about it that we would need to fax our paperwork to the agency over the weekend. He was so worried about it but said if I felt good about it that he was okay with proceeding. (I just want to note here that in NO way did Ryan not want these boys. He was so concerned about all the details... it's the kind of person he is and I'm glad he is that way. I tend to work from the heart and him from the brain. It works out pretty well because both of us think of things the other doesn't.) Over the weekend, I worked on getting our agency to fax back our paperwork. I felt like I was on the phone the whole weekend. I was also learning what a miracle it was that we were even notified of these boys. The news traveled through several social workers to get to our agency, which totally confirmed to me that these boys belonged with us. But I knew it was still a long shot for us to even be chosen. After we had sent all the paperwork in on Saturday, I decided to tell just a few close friends and family about the situation and ask them to pray for us. We were told that we would have an answer Monday morning.
Waking up Monday morning, Ryan had left for school and I probably should have been totally focused on Alex's first day of school. And I was to a certain degree, but the seconds ticked by so slowly and I was sure I was about ready to get some disappointing news. I got a phone call around 9:00 that morning. It was the director of the agency here in Utah. He said he was in contact with the agency back east and they had narrowed the couples down to 3.... and we happened to be one of them. He asked me several questions. How big is your apartment... will you have enough room for twins.... do you plan to work after bringing them home.... I answered the questions and when it came to working after bringing them home... I said no. NO??!? What was I thinking? Ryan had just quit his full time job so he could focus on school. He was still working part time and I was working full time and had the benefits. I honestly hadn't thought about it and had NO CLUE how we would pay for twins if I decided not to work. But I said I would not be working after bringing them home. And I wasn't lying. I really meant it. Boy, Ryan was going to be surprised about that! He said that was all he needed and would be calling back within an hour with a decision. I was a complete basket case! I can only imagine what Alex was thinking watching me pace around the house. I didn't sit still the entire time. An hour passed and no call. 1 hour 15 mins... nothing. 1 hour 30 min... they must have called the adoptive parents already and now they're going to call us with bad news. I was devastated. I was certain we were not chosen. And to know we came within 3 couples. It was a terrible feeling. Finally 1 hour and 37 minutes later. (I'm crying right now thinking about this moment.) I remember having a very solemn tone to my voice when I answered. He asked me if we were ready to fly out to Virginia to pick up our boys. I started crying on the spot. He said he'd give me a minute to gather myself. I had about a million things going through my mind and somehow managed to get some very important information down... including the fact that Baby A was going to be released from the hospital the NEXT DAY and we would need to fly out TONIGHT!!! I got off the phone and started sobbing. I grabbed Alex and hugged him and told him he was finally going to be a big brother. Something he had waited a VERY long time for and wanted so badly. I called Ryan to let him know he was going to be a Daddy again, but only got his voicemail. I left him a message... a weird message to leave on your husbands phone. ("Hey babe, can you pick up some milk on the way home? Oh and by the way, you're a proud new father of twins!") I had kept my Mom informed of what was going on and she knew I'd be getting an answer soon. She had her visiting teachers over when we got the news and they had no clue. I told Alex to go upstairs and tell Grandma that he was going to be a big brother. I crept up the stairs behind him so I could hear the reaction. There was a lot of screaming, then crying. We told the visiting teachers what was going on and then kindly told them they needed to leave... because we had A LOT to do!! We called my Dad and got him working on getting us plane tickets for that night. I really wanted to go to Alex's kindergarten orientation. I didn't want to miss out on it and really didn't want him to miss out on it. My Mom took off to the store and bought lots of teeny tiny little preemie clothes and diapers. After all... we had NOTHING! We had been given less than 24 hours notice and we were totally unprepared! I took Alex to the school around noon for orientation. I had to leave about 5 times to take phone calls, one of which was finally Ryan. He had finally gotten my message. Even with as nervous as he had been, he was so excited! I told him we were leaving that night and he needed to get things figured out with school and then get his butt home! He was worried about school and worried that they wouldn't let him take the time off. But they were so happy and excited for him and he had no problems getting a couple days off to fly out. Honestly, a lot of that afternoon was a complete blur. I remember orientation a little bit and then coming home to pack. I don't remember much after that. I remember Ryan getting home and getting really excited. I remember calling Ryan's parents and leaving a message for them that they were going to be grandparents again. And then I remember the airport. My parents drove us to the airport. We had decided it wouldn't be wise to take Alex. I hated making this decision and it's one I still kind of regret. Had I known everything I know now, he would have come with us and flown home with Ryan. But I won't get into all of that. It was so hard leaving him at the airport. We were so excited but I hated leaving him. He was so excited too and understood why he couldn't come, but still wanted to so badly. We hugged and kissed him a million times and said goodbye. We got to our gate, got on the plane and took off. It was a red eye flight, so we should have been sleeping. Right. How in the world can you sleep knowing you would be meeting your children in just a few short hours. I remember looking through a baby name book almost the entire time. We had 2 names to come up with and (no offense) the names we had picked out for "future children" didn't really fit for African American kids. :) So we really had to start fresh. Ryan and I had a really hard time agreeing on names. I had quite a few picked out and Ryan really didn't like very many of them. I look back at some of the names I had picked out and am SO HAPPY Ryan didn't like them. I actually kept a list of the names I had started looking at over the weekend we were sending our paperwork back. Even though we hadn't officially been chosen, I had already started looking at names. :) Here is my list dated 8/24/08 (Sunday).
| Order | Name | Sort | Gender | Meaning | More info | My Names | |||||
| Isaac |   | Boy | He will laugh | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Ethan |  | Boy | Strong, firm, impet... | More... | | Delete | |||||
| James | | Boy | Supplanter | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Ian | | Boy | God is forgiving | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Jesse | | Boy | Gift; wealthy | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Seth | | Boy | Appointed | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Jonah | | Boy | Dove | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Sawyer | | Boy | One who saws wood | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Joaquin | | Boy | God will establish | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Jude | | Both | Praise; thanks | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Jakob | | Boy | Supplanter; held by... | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Jonas | | Boy | Dove | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Jack | | Boy | God is gracious | More... | | Delete | |||||
| Keenan | | Both | Descendant of Cathá... | More... | | Delete | |||||
| | | | | | | | ||||
Ok, this is getting very long. So I'm gonna quit for the night. I will get to Part 2 soon!
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Darek's Post
Questions about Mom and Dad
How old is Mom? 3 Dad? 3
What is Mom's favorite color? Pink
Dads? White
What does Mom like to eat? Sandwich
Dad? Mac and Cheese
How tall is Mom? Humongous
Dad? Humongous
How strong is Mom? Bigger strong
Dad? Really big strong
What do you like about Mom? Good
Dad? Good
What is Mom's favorite TV show? Kitty show or Hot Dog show
Dad? Team Umi Zoomi
What is Mom's name? Mandi Wood
Dad? Daddy Wood
About Darek:
Age: 3
Favorite color: Green
How tall: Bigger
How strong: Really strong
Favorite Food: Mac and Cheese
Favorite TV show: Bubble Guppies
What do you like preschool: Good
How old is Mom? 3 Dad? 3
What is Mom's favorite color? Pink
Dads? White
What does Mom like to eat? Sandwich
Dad? Mac and Cheese
How tall is Mom? Humongous
Dad? Humongous
How strong is Mom? Bigger strong
Dad? Really big strong
What do you like about Mom? Good
Dad? Good
What is Mom's favorite TV show? Kitty show or Hot Dog show
Dad? Team Umi Zoomi
What is Mom's name? Mandi Wood
Dad? Daddy Wood
About Darek:
Age: 3
Favorite color: Green
How tall: Bigger
How strong: Really strong
Favorite Food: Mac and Cheese
Favorite TV show: Bubble Guppies
What do you like preschool: Good
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